The Glitter of Who You Are
Hello Dear Ones, and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Today I am writing from my cozy bed. I have a cold, and I am savoring the luxury of just curling up in the greatest comfort I know, with tea.
Years ago, I traveled to India and South Africa as part of my nurse-midwifery training. These travels changed my life in more ways that I can count. One thing that came of this is my writing. I wrote emails to my family and friends at home, describing my life and experiences. This was my writing debut, as I discovered that writing for an audience lit me up. That was 18 years ago, and that writing has been long-lost. I never thought to save those emails, written from a long-ago email account. And then a gift was handed to me: my sweet aunt had them all. She had printed and saved them from all those years ago. So, she sent them off to me in a thick envelope. Receiving this in the mail was like finding the most gorgeous glittering jewel in my mailbox. It has taken me almost a year to read them (who knows why!). This moment of lying around in bed, weathering a cold, has been the perfect opportunity to read.
I have laughed and cried as I’ve read stories I’d forgotten. And more than anything, I have delighted so much in the woman I was then. The woman with the huge heart who lived life fully, arms outstretched, open to everything. The woman who wrote beautifully, and with her own honest writing style that came directly from who she was on the inside. I have been astonished by what I wrote, how I wrote it, how I showed myself to the world, and how I showed up in those moments of my life. I was fearless and beautiful. And I had no idea at the time.
As I sit here, having read the last one, and having sighed with such contentment, and having wrapped the letters up in a neat stack, to be savored again another time… I am thinking of you all. This is worth sharing.
Last summer, I opened boxes from my childhood. In them I found my old barbies, unopened and unseen for decades. Again, I was astonished as I saw the work of my little girl hands: Barbies beautifully dressed and lovingly laid in a box together. A family tied together with a big bow. A notebook cataloging the name of each barbie, and which clothes and accessories were hers. I was astonished, and yet not surprised. Of course, it was all in beautiful order, catalogued, with the love of my childhood wrapped in it all. What an incredible little time-capsule, ready to be found later when I was 45.
Here’s what I am feeling and wants to be said today: We are the same person every second of our lives, and we are continually growing. There is something about going back in time, finding a time-capsule from an earlier season in our lives… that is pure magic. To have a glimmer of who we once were is so special because it helps us to see who we are now, and of course who we have always been. Witnessing earlier versions of ourselves, in earlier seasons, is an opportunity to bow in awe and astonishment to ourselves. Look who I have always been! Here are common threads and through-lines from then until now. I love this person I am discovering. I have been her all along. Who knew?!
Have you ever had this experience? Have you found beautiful time capsules left by earlier versions of yourself? If so, what has it felt like to re-discover these parts of yourself, and see them through your eyes now, as an older and wiser person? Where might you go find such a time capsule, even if it is a tiny thing? If there is no “thing” to find, is there someone who could tell you stories about yourself from long ago (who you were, how you engaged with life, etc…)?
What I know now is that this unique life of ours is to be loved… and the unique person we each are is to be savored (first by us before anyone else). So. Go on a treasure hunt. Find the magic glitter of who you have always been. Bow to yourself. Fall a little bit more in love with yourself. You are truly astonishing. Just as you are. Just as you have always been. Happy Valentine’s Day, Dear Glittering One!
In deep gratitude for everything in this sweet life,
Rebecca
* Disclaimer: This likely goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: Everything I write is for educational purposes only. Nothing I write or share can be deemed diagnostic or medical advice. Nothing I write or share can replace your own healthcare providers or your own internal knowing and wisdom. Period. Please seek tailored medical care and advice via your skilled healthcare team whenever you need it.
