The Inner Work of Wellbeing, Part Two
Hello Dear Ones!
First off- before I dive into the writing, I’ll circle back to last week. Last week I was deep in seeking, deep in joyful anticipation….. and some clarity has already arrived since then! It’s too soon to share, there’s more to understand before it all is formed enough... but I thought I’d let you know that it’s all happening beautifully. I will share when it is time.
_______________________________________________________________
Ok so here we go:
Last August I wrote about the inner work of wellbeing. If you’d like to read this, you can do so HERE. I’m picking up this thread again, and diving into the inner landscape of wellbeing. I will deviate from my usual style today. I don’t have one particular story to guide us in. It’s different today, the way this idea wants to be written.
I’ve been in the joyful and humble role of listening to women for decades… through my work, and also just because I was born to do this. It comes naturally to deeply witness every woman in front of me. I was in conversation with a friend recently, and clarity about inner boundaries and wellbeing just rolled out of me. I suddenly saw how our inner life experience is the foundation for every aspect of our health. I have seen this in my clients: their worries, their health scares, and their lab values.
It’s this: The way we engage with ourselves, the way we speak to and treat ourselves is truly the core of any wellbeing practice we might take on. Our inner life is truly the core foundation of whether or not we are well or ill (on every level).
The concept of “Living Boundaries” is central to this”. This means two things to me. It means:
The act of living with healthy boundaries, however needed
AND
Boundaries, which are alive and fluid in and of themselves, and are ours to use
Women’s bodies have been under siege, probably since the beginning of time. I said to someone earlier this month that it seems to me that people view women’s bodies as a drive through. Take what you need, and just drive away. No formalities, maybe not even a request for access. Just take and go. We might say that our very broken healthcare system is at the core. The way women must interact with mainstream healthcare is so blindingly offensive. As if our bodies are free to be treated, and sculpted and experimented on and changed via surgery, however the healthcare providers or insurance companies determine.
Sovereignty over our own bodies is a concept that keeps undulating in my mind. If you look at the word sovereignty, you might see REIGN in the center of it. Meaning: Women reigning over the land of their body and their lives. Like royalty. Like leaders. Like Queens.
We, as women, are born to be our own leaders. This is our birthright, even though to varying degrees we were never taught this, or have never been allowed to act on this. It is our birthright to be the sole decision-makers about how our bodies are tended and loved. We are meant to be the sole decision-makers about how our bodies are (or are not) available to the outside world.
We are also, by design, the sole decision-makers about our inner conversation and voice. And yet we have been taught to keep ourselves quiet and small, we have been trained to be “good”. The result is girls and women becoming contorted pretzels on the inside, trying to survive, trying to follow the rules, trying to succeed in being “good”. The end results is women who are incredibly unkind to themselves on the inside, in an effort to follow the instructions of the culture.
So, coming back to where we began. Living Boundaries. Our own sovereignty is entirely about these fluid and alive boundaries that we use. If we imagine ourselves as the Queen who rules the land of our body and our life, we see a woman with clear YESes and NOs as she navigates the terrain of her body and her life. We see women who begin to study their inner landscape, how they feel about themselves and how they treat and talk to themselves. Jane Fonda once said that it took her decades to realize that “No” is a complete sentence. I just love this sentence.
Choosing ourselves as our highest priority has never really been allowed. Until now. We are in a radical revolution now. Women are hatching out of the confines of the shells we were shoved into. We are coming out of the drugged state in which our culture has treated our bodies like a drive-through. A free-for-all situation. Women are now rising, and are now finding their clear YESes and their clear NOs. Women are becoming the leaders, the Queens of their bodies and lives. Women are reclaiming their sovereignty. And thank goodness.
All the pieces that lead us to clearing the dust and returning to sovereignty… these are different for each woman. It’s a healing journey, and one not to be missed.
We need one another in this. We sisters need each other to bow, to witness, to applaud the journeys of returning to sovereignty. And so I wonder:
· Your healing journey that is returning you to yourself... what has this journey been like?
· In what ways are you feeling your return to sovereignty? Are you feeling this yet?
· Look around: Who else is clearly on their own journey that you can witness and support?
· And who can support and witness you on your journey?
Thank you for being with me on this journey. Thank you for reading my writing. And thank you for your reflections and responses back. It all matters to me.
In deep gratitude for everything in this sweet life,
Rebecca
* Disclaimer: This likely goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: Everything I write is for educational purposes only. Nothing I write or share can be deemed diagnostic or medical advice. Nothing I write or share can replace your own healthcare providers or your own internal knowing and wisdom. Period. Please seek tailored medical care and advice via your skilled healthcare team whenever you need it.
