La Dolce Vita
Hello Dear Ones!
How are you today? I mean really: How are you?
I can say that after last week’s challenges, things are bright here again. I always have to remind myself that nothing is permanent. It’s all impermanent… and the big challenges always signal opportunities for growth… and then just like that, life gets easier and brighter again.
Years ago, I studied Italian, and then spent a semester of college in Siena (a tiny city in Tuscany). I lived with an Italian family out in the country, and studied in the city during the day. Life was really good. I have stories upon stories from that time. The one thing that I’ve returned to repeatedly in my mind is a concept I learned there: La Dolce Vita. This literally means The Sweetness of Life. It’s a concept, lifestyle and method of always looking for the sweetest parts of life, and savoring them. Finding ways to savor life more deeply, again and again.
This week I’ve thought of La Dolce Vita a lot. I’ve been returning to myself again and again, asking the question: What is the sweetest version of my own life? Right now. Not a grand dream for ten years from now. Just right now. What is the sweetest life I can dream up?
Yesterday I took myself to a coffee shop for a little dreaming date. Meaning I took myself out of my regular life patterns, so that I could make some space for dreaming. I mapped it out, and had to laugh at myself. It’s the same stuff I’ve been writing for YEARS. Nothing new. Just me, asking the same question, and answering the same way. Here’s the part that’s different though: Now I am listening intently, and I’m getting serious about what I would love in this life.
One of the gems embedded in perimenopause is the opportunity to really start tuning into yourself and really, truly taking your desires seriously.
I am hearing how much I need a deeper relationship with my community. I need to live out loud, and in-person. I need to meet new people, and broaden and strengthen the village I am in. I crave more time to make beautiful food, to sing with friends. I crave sharing meals with friends, and becoming part of another sewing/mending group. I want my hands in soil and in fabric every day. I want to move my body, run, dance, split firewood, haul rocks every day. And my gosh I would love to laugh until I cry so much more often.
So. Here is what I am doing: I am revising my weekly calendar to make space for these things. I am now asking myself what a sweeter version of any task in front of me might be. For example, I stepped outside to breathe the cool, fresh autumn air before writing to you. Once outside, I realized how delicious it would be to write out here. So I am bundled up in a cozy chair, sitting in my covered porch, hot tea in hand… watching the rain pour down around me. This is a sweet way to write. This is me, living La Dolce Vita. Just in this moment.
The interesting thing is that what makes my life sweet may be so very different from what makes yours sweet. I mean, some of you would find this way of basking in the rain just... well… terrible. Right?
That’s the fabulous thing about La Dolce Vita. Not only does it allow you to live a more delicious life, it even more importantly requires you to start tuning into what you actually want. What actually lights you up. As women, most of us are largely estranged from ourselves, no longer knowing at all what we would love. La Dolce Vita is an invitation to start asking, and to start listening. To yourself. This is all about you. (What others desire or think or feel has no place here.) This is all about you refilling yourself over and over and over again. This is about you creating the sweetest life for yourself, perhaps ultimately beyond your wildest imagining.
Some might ask: Isn’t there risk of becoming too self-important? Doesn’t La Dolce Vita risk making us all too self-involved, taking ourselves too seriously? I’d say no. As women who are mostly living on fumes, so exhausted from life, I think La Dolce Vita is necessary. The world can only benefit from fulfilled, rested, delighted and powerful women. Truly. And then from this place, we have oh-so-much to give to the world. The world needs us to do whatever it takes to lovingly fill ourselves up, so that we are spilling over with life force. Our power, our love, our delight… these are first our gifts to ourselves, and then they can be gifted to our loved ones and to our communities. And of course, along the way, we are continually considering the needs and desire of others, right? We do this so well. We just need to make sure our own voice is the first one that we hear, and the first that we honor (most of the time).
So. Here are some questions to ask yourself this week:
What is your inner voice saying to you? Can you catch one or two desires and really hear them?
Stop whatever you are doing right now and check in: Is there a way to make this moment more delicious, fun or cozy? Can you pause and make this happen for yourself now, even in a small way? And then, having done so, what is it like to have heard yourself, acted on your ideas, and to now be living La Dolce Vita for a moment? Can you bask in it? Do you see ways to make this moment even sweeter?
What happens inside of yourself when you really start to tune in to your desires, and yet you also hear the needs of others? Can you give yourself permission to tend yourself first more often? What is this like for you… to shift your priorities toward yourself more often?
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, your discoveries, and your stories of living La Dolce Vita!
In deep gratitude for everything in this sweet life,
Rebecca
* Disclaimer: This likely goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: Everything I write is for educational purposes only. Nothing I write or share can be deemed diagnostic or medical advice. Nothing I write or share can replace your own healthcare providers or your own internal knowing and wisdom. Period. Please seek tailored medical care and advice via your skilled healthcare team whenever you need it.
